Tales of a Supermarket Superstar!

"Eat before shopping. If you go to the store hungry, you are likely to make unnecessary purchases." - American Heart Association Cookbook

As much as I adore shopping and window shopping... there is one type of shopping that I loathe: grocery shopping. I don't know why, but I've just never enjoyed it. I'm all for the eating, mind you... just not the shopping. Grocery stores just sort of gross me out. All that bloody meat in the meat freezers, the dirty vegetables, the nasty shopping carts - yep, just gross!

Despite all this, I've discovered that the biggest cliché is (sadly) true: guys pick up chicks at the grocery store. Seriously! They really do! This almost makes me want to start putting on makeup before I head out for my next grocery shopping adventure. Almost.

You see... two years ago, I met a really nice guy named Jason while I was shopping at Albertson's in Albuquerque. At first, I thought he was kind of seedy. I was buying fruit to make a fruit salad with, and he kept complimenting my choices. "Pineapple is delicious." "Oh, don't you just love fresh raspberries?" Um yeah, dude. Whatever. When I ran into him again in the wine section, he finally introduced himself. We exchanged numbers, and I met him the following night for dinner and drinks. And he ended up being a really nice guy... not "seedy" at all! If it weren't for him getting transferred to Livermore, CA, we probably would have continued dating.

Case in point #2: Last Saturday night (after I sobered up from the Greek Festival), I ran down to my local grocery Mecca Central Market for - you guessed it - more alcohol! While I was there, I decided to do some light grocery shopping. I was craving pineapple (as usual) so I found myself browsing that area of the fruit section. Should I buy whole, or pre-cleaned and sliced? Should I buy it pre-cored? Or should I opt for strawberries instead? Anyway, while I was debating these life decisions in my head, a guy (with what I assumed to be his girlfriend) wandered over to the pineapples too. "I was going to get that one." I looked at my pineapple, and back at the boy. "Are you serious?" He laughed, and picked up the one next to it. Um... Ok.

I went over to the canned good aisle to get some green beans... "Oh," says the guy, "You're getting my can of green beans too!" I gave him a what the hell look. "I'm just kidding. I'm Ryan." His girl-friend (?) wandered to the next aisle, and "Ryan" stayed and talked to me about my most randomly filled shopping cart ever. He is an accountant for a... wait for it... energy company (ha!) downtown. He said he had to go, gave me his card, and told me that the ball was in my court to call him. What in the???? Well, I guess I can safely assume that wasn't his girlfriend. Either that or he's the sleaziest guy ever.

So, is it just me or am I missing something? Are grocery stores the new bar for this generation? Are squabbles over fruit equivalent to buying someone a drink? And... how exactly does one tell that another is single when shopping in the grocery store? Do us single folks have tattoo on our foreheads saying that we are single that only other singles can read? I just don't get it. But I'll tell you what... I'm sooooo not going to wear my sweats next time I'm at Randall's!

And I plucked my eyebrows for this?

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. - Derek Zoolander

As much as I adore fashion, makeup, and jewelry... I'm not what you would call high-maintenance. I'm not even medium-maintenance. Shoot, I think I'm barely low-maintenance. But occassionally I'll try. I'll pluck my eyebrows, get that pedicure, curl my hair. Heck, I sometimes even will wear high heels and change out my purse! But even that much effort requires a special occasion

I have recently realized, however, that when I do go through the effort of doing my hair, wearing makeup, and putting together an outfit, no one outside of work even notices. Not my neighbors. Not the hot guy on the escalator. Not the friend I have across the street. I get no compliments of any sort on the efforts I made to look more presentable.

What I have noticed, however, is that it is precisely when I don't try at all that people talk to me more. If I'm wearing sweats and flip-flops to the grocery store, some guy comes up and starts talking to me about the fruit. If I'm in my gym clothes at Blockbuster, the video guy is complimenting my gray-blue eyes. When I'm in a baseball cap, jeans, and t-shirt? A guy is trying to buy me wine at a Greek festival. Why is it that when I look my worst, it's the only time that people take notice that I'm there?

Maybe my makeup has magical "invisibility" powers, that cause me to become more and more transparent as I apply it. Maybe my heels make me look big and scary to the opposite sex (I do become, after all, a whopping 5'6'' with heels on). Or maybe my long hair hides me when it's taken down from the ponytail it's so use to being in.

Whatever the case may be, guys tend to flirt with me more when I look like hell. Period. Even my last "love of my life" told me that he doesn't know why I bother with all the makeup, hair gels, and crap. He liked me better au natural. Ugh. But... secretly I feel better with the makeup on. I like the way I look when I decide to fix my hair. And I feel a heck of a lot more confident when I do all of the above. But guys prefer me the other way, when I look my worst and have zero confidence? WTF? Maybe I need to learn to be more comfortable and confident no matter what it is I look like on any particular day. Maybe then I'll be able to flirt back on those "not so fresh" looking days. Until then, I'll keep playing with the hair, clothes, and makeup. And hopefully I'll be able to find a middle ground somewhere. Because... even though guys seem to like me all frumpy and stuff... I hate it. UGH!!!!!!!!!!

The Weight of the World on my Shoulders

It just figures. It just friggin' figures. I can never have things happen under normal circumstances. Oh no.... I have to wait until it's the worst possible timing or it has to be something forbidden. Ugh!

I guess I should clarify... and confess. I have a crush. A bonafide, butterflies in my stomach, making my heart race crush. Sure, I've had a lot of little "crushes" this year. But I haven't really liked anyone in a couple of years. Yes, this includes the ex-boyfriend. That was lust. Which is precisely why it didn't work out (again).

But I really like this guy. And it's not about his looks... or lust for that matter. He's nice to me. He's smart. He's funny. And he makes me feel like a lady, which is amazing b/c I'm such a goober that I rarely feel like that.

Sooo, what's the problem, you ask? Well... we work together. He's an attorney in my group, which depending on his payscale, makes him either my peer or slightly superior to me. And this, my friends, makes it forbidden for us to be together. UGH! Leave it to me to get sweet on a colleague.

Even worse, though, is that I think the feeling's mutual. Or at least, I thought it was. My friends keep telling me that I should just "let it happen." What will be, will be, right? I wish it were that simple. I wish I could just see him and not hope for something more to happen. I wish I could just "hang out" and be his friend. But I don't know if I can do that. And I know that, at this point, both of us are so new that neither of us are willing to risk our job over it. This just sucks!

He asked me what I was doing this weekend over the IM at work this morning. When I replied that I had no plans... no response from him. Whatsoever. Uh, ok. I don't know how to read him... and I definitely don't know where my feelings are right now.

But I still like him....

The Allure of Chick Lit, Chick Flicks, and other Chick-attracting things

chick flick n. A movie with themes, characters, or events that appeal more to women than to men (http://www.wordspy.com/words/chickflick.asp)

So, I spent my Saturday evening staying up to watch The Lake House. For my fellow chick flick fans, it's a good movie by the way. Anyway, I got to thinking while I was watching this thing... what is it with girls and their love for chick flicks? I mean, even the baddest girls around secretly have a favorite chick flick to call their own. And those girls who claim they don't? Well... I think they're lying.

I myself have tried to pretend that I do not share an affinity for this tear-jerking stuff. I mean, my favorite movie of all time is Seven, for crying out loud. Not exactly the most sensitive of movies ever made. But, time after time, I find myself at Hollywood Video debating over renting the latest action flick or the new chick flick. I seriously hold both the entire time I browse through the rest of the store... usually opting to get both when I finally let myself give in. So off I go... chick flick in hand... happily back to my apartment, with my ice cream and cosmopolitan mixer to spend a Saturday evening at home.

Well, tonight I think I finally let myself understand exactly what the power was that draws me to these movies. It's certainly not the acting... I mean, Keanu is nice to look at and all, but his acting skills give much to be desired. It's certainly not the soundtrack. Have you ever heard more whiny music in your life? You would think that breakup songs were written specifically for this purpose! And it's definitely not for the happy parts... they also call these movies tear-jerkers, after all. And I don't usually cry unless I'm sad.

No, I think it's more about the message of these crazy flicks that women like. Thelma and Louise showed how badass women could be. Fried Green Tomatoes makes you want to have a killer life in your youth, so you'll have awesome stories to tell when you are older. Bridget Jones makes you think, "Yes! I too can get Hugh Grant or Colin Firth! Chubby girls get some hot lovin' sometimes too!"

But there's a third part that none of us want to admit to... and since I know only 5 people are going to read this anyway, I might as well confess to it to. All people (men, this includes you too) want to know that romance and love still exist. You want the hope, at least, to stay alive. The news certainly doesn't help our hope any. Neither does daytime TV. But these dorky little movies... THESE, for some reason, help us to continue hoping for that real, core-shaking love. And, in my case... it's helped me to demand nothing less. Life is much too short to waste time on things that you don't feel passionately about. If you're going to be patient for something in this lifetime... why not love?