Tales of a Supermarket Superstar!

"Eat before shopping. If you go to the store hungry, you are likely to make unnecessary purchases." - American Heart Association Cookbook

As much as I adore shopping and window shopping... there is one type of shopping that I loathe: grocery shopping. I don't know why, but I've just never enjoyed it. I'm all for the eating, mind you... just not the shopping. Grocery stores just sort of gross me out. All that bloody meat in the meat freezers, the dirty vegetables, the nasty shopping carts - yep, just gross!

Despite all this, I've discovered that the biggest cliché is (sadly) true: guys pick up chicks at the grocery store. Seriously! They really do! This almost makes me want to start putting on makeup before I head out for my next grocery shopping adventure. Almost.

You see... two years ago, I met a really nice guy named Jason while I was shopping at Albertson's in Albuquerque. At first, I thought he was kind of seedy. I was buying fruit to make a fruit salad with, and he kept complimenting my choices. "Pineapple is delicious." "Oh, don't you just love fresh raspberries?" Um yeah, dude. Whatever. When I ran into him again in the wine section, he finally introduced himself. We exchanged numbers, and I met him the following night for dinner and drinks. And he ended up being a really nice guy... not "seedy" at all! If it weren't for him getting transferred to Livermore, CA, we probably would have continued dating.

Case in point #2: Last Saturday night (after I sobered up from the Greek Festival), I ran down to my local grocery Mecca Central Market for - you guessed it - more alcohol! While I was there, I decided to do some light grocery shopping. I was craving pineapple (as usual) so I found myself browsing that area of the fruit section. Should I buy whole, or pre-cleaned and sliced? Should I buy it pre-cored? Or should I opt for strawberries instead? Anyway, while I was debating these life decisions in my head, a guy (with what I assumed to be his girlfriend) wandered over to the pineapples too. "I was going to get that one." I looked at my pineapple, and back at the boy. "Are you serious?" He laughed, and picked up the one next to it. Um... Ok.

I went over to the canned good aisle to get some green beans... "Oh," says the guy, "You're getting my can of green beans too!" I gave him a what the hell look. "I'm just kidding. I'm Ryan." His girl-friend (?) wandered to the next aisle, and "Ryan" stayed and talked to me about my most randomly filled shopping cart ever. He is an accountant for a... wait for it... energy company (ha!) downtown. He said he had to go, gave me his card, and told me that the ball was in my court to call him. What in the???? Well, I guess I can safely assume that wasn't his girlfriend. Either that or he's the sleaziest guy ever.

So, is it just me or am I missing something? Are grocery stores the new bar for this generation? Are squabbles over fruit equivalent to buying someone a drink? And... how exactly does one tell that another is single when shopping in the grocery store? Do us single folks have tattoo on our foreheads saying that we are single that only other singles can read? I just don't get it. But I'll tell you what... I'm sooooo not going to wear my sweats next time I'm at Randall's!