It just figures. It just friggin' figures. I can never have things happen under normal circumstances. Oh no.... I have to wait until it's the worst possible timing or it has to be something forbidden. Ugh!
I guess I should clarify... and confess. I have a crush. A bonafide, butterflies in my stomach, making my heart race crush. Sure, I've had a lot of little "crushes" this year. But I haven't really liked anyone in a couple of years. Yes, this includes the ex-boyfriend. That was lust. Which is precisely why it didn't work out (again).
But I really like this guy. And it's not about his looks... or lust for that matter. He's nice to me. He's smart. He's funny. And he makes me feel like a lady, which is amazing b/c I'm such a goober that I rarely feel like that.
Sooo, what's the problem, you ask? Well... we work together. He's an attorney in my group, which depending on his payscale, makes him either my peer or slightly superior to me. And this, my friends, makes it forbidden for us to be together. UGH! Leave it to me to get sweet on a colleague.
Even worse, though, is that I think the feeling's mutual. Or at least, I thought it was. My friends keep telling me that I should just "let it happen." What will be, will be, right? I wish it were that simple. I wish I could just see him and not hope for something more to happen. I wish I could just "hang out" and be his friend. But I don't know if I can do that. And I know that, at this point, both of us are so new that neither of us are willing to risk our job over it. This just sucks!
He asked me what I was doing this weekend over the IM at work this morning. When I replied that I had no plans... no response from him. Whatsoever. Uh, ok. I don't know how to read him... and I definitely don't know where my feelings are right now.
But I still like him....
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Yeah, that happened to me once. There was a guy that I worked with directly that I had the biggest crush on... It was bizarre, because he was shorter than me, and I rarely (can't say never, I guess) am attracted to men that are shorter than I am. But, oh, he was so nice and kind, and made me feel sexy as hell, and blah blah blah.
Long story short, we never did anything about it, for the same reason you're having a dilemma. I actually ended up distancing myself a bit. So, I know where you're coming from. Sheer suckiness.
Unfortunately, I can't offer any advice on how to cope, but I thought, hey, misery might like company.
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