the art of trial and error

I was talking to a guy-friend (just a friend, folks) tonight and we got to talking about our love lives (or lack thereof, in my case). He was telling me that his problem is that he's afraid to take a leap; afraid to let anyone close to him. Then he asked me how I do it. And I didn't have an answer to give him. I told him, quite frankly, that I don't know.

And why do I not know? Well, mostly because I myself am afraid to open up to new friends, lovers, and relationships. Sure, I can go on dates, but nothing ever comes from it. And honestly, it's all my fault. I'd really love to blame the ex on it, but it's not him - it's me. And I really don't know what I can do to change that.

The sad truth is that I miss being in a relationship. Sure, I took time off, and I really feel like I needed it. But now... almost a full year post-boyfriend? Let's just say I'm ready to jump in the saddle again. {Ok, folks... heads out of the gutter... haha!}. But, here in Houston, this has proved to be difficult. Never in my life have I lived in a city with so many people...yet, it seems that no one is interested in making friends or being social with one another. It's like everyone here is their own little island. It sucks. And it's certainly not condusive to meeting a guy or starting a fling. Well, a fling maybe, but definitely not a relationship.

Now, I'm not saying I want to go out and get married anytime soon. Hell, I don't want to even think about getting married until I'm 30. But does that mean I have to stay single until then? Is it so bad here in Houston that you can only have the fling or have the serious relationship? Where did the gray-area go? Don't people date anymore?

I guess I'll just keep my options open... we'll see what happens.