Attack of the Parents

Lately, I feel like I'm being attacked by all sides. On the one hand, I have old friends who are now parents that are bugging me. Then, I have the people I work with that think they are my parents. Then, of course, I have my parents who are a lovely thorn in my side. So my question then is... is it national "Parents hating on the childless" month or something? Geez...

My first "attack" came when I went home last for Christmas. I so love going home, and I always look forward to it. Houston, as you may have noticed, has not become "home" yet so it's always feels so good to be back in good ol' New Mexico after a long absence. What I never look forward to, though, is the loving discussion that always seems to be at the forefront of my parents' mind: marriage. Why haven't I settled down yet? Am I gay? Am I bitter? Do I still love my ex? Never, EVER as a future parent will I ask my children any of these questions. But my parents, especially my dad, always find a way to sneak it in somehow.

Mom is a little more reserved about it, but only because she thinks it's somehow her fault that I'm still single. Dad, a traditional Hispanic in every sense of the word, is a little more outspoken about it. It's just wrong, in his opinion, for a woman of a certain age to be independent. She should be married, and making a house a home for a family. But what's so wrong with just wanting to prove to myself I can do it on my own first? Can't I prove my ability to do things on my own, and to be successful in my career, before I marry? And why should I marry just any Tom, Dick, or Harry that comes along? Just to be married?

I recently added my new year's goal to my other blog... basically, I'm going to concentrate my efforts in 2007 to taking care of myself. Pretty selfish, I know, but after years of caring for everyone else around me, I just figured this was as good a time as any to make an effort to take care of me. No one else is gonna do it, right? Well, I was all proud of my little blog until someone left me a comment on it. While I'm sure this married (and motherly) friend of mine didn't mean to come off as snide, she did. I won't reprint her comment here, but it boiled down to how it must be nice to have the luxury of taking care of myself first since I am not married and do not have children. Um, yeah... I guess it is.

But you know what? I think that even if you are married and you do have children, you should still make it a point to take care of you first. Why? Well, like I said before... only you are going to take care of you. And if you don't take good care of yourself, you won't be any use to those you want to take care of. I mean, you can be the best wife on earth, but if you killed over tomorrow because you had a heart attack, you wouldn't be a whole lot of good to your husband anymore, would you? I know that sounds harsh, but that's how I feel. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take care of anyone else (Lord knows I'll still be mother hen to those close to me); I'm just saying make sure you take care of YOU too.

Finally, there are my colleagues. Granted, the average age in my department hovers at 48, which means the majority of these people really could be my mom or dad, but does that mean they have to treat me like their child? Now, some of these folks I don't mind so much... you know, the ones who send you birthday cards on your birthday or call you to check on you when you are sick. That's nice. But the ones who want to lecture you when you attend the occasional happy hour? Or how about the ones that like to order you around to do their busy work? Ooh, or the ones who tell you that you can't do something, just because "it's not safe for a single gal like you?"

Let me tell ya... I have a pretty terrific set of parents. They did a bang-up job of raising me, if I do say so myself. And I've lived in this big, bad city by myself with no family and few friends for over a year now... I think I can handle myself, thank you. And as for ordering me around just because you're older? I may just do it once or twice, just to be nice and accomodating. But don't abuse it. I may be young but I'm not naive, and I'll be damned if I let you walk all over me. I removed that doormat from my back a LONG time ago, and I have no intention on letting anyone put it back on me anytime in the near future.

I guess my request is simple: treat me like you would anyone else. I just hope that someday people can accept that I'm just like they are... granted, I may have successfully avoided the ball and chain, and have no fruit of my loins... and yes, I may be under 30 (shocking, I know), but I'm no less capable, no less worldly, and no less responsible than they are. And if people can't accept that? Well, they can just kiss my grits cuz I ain't changin'.