Oh, the whore-or!

I'm not a hot chick. I'm not saying I'm totally unfortunate looking, because I would say I'm cute. I just don't think the word "hot" and me go together at all. For Christ's sake, I shop at Ann Taylor and the Gap! Now, those clothes are cute but not hot. It's just not me.

So, what about me exactly is it that screams out whore to some guys? Seriously? Yeah, I giggle a lot, and when the mood strikes me, I may even curl my hair and put some makeup on. But I'm not in full-on "come hither" gear. Nor am I wearing tight little skirts or low cut blouses that would possibly catch a pervert's eye. So why is it, then, that every single time I go out with "the girls" that some creepy dude tells me things that would make Jenna Jameson blush?

Last Saturday night, my two friends and I were having drinks in Santa Monica while we were on vacation. One of my friends has a guy friend that lives in nearby L.A., so she invited him and his friends to meet us. I was at the bar when they finally showed up, and the only seat left was next to this guy's short little friend.

So, I sit down next to this guy, introduce myself to both men, and continue to talk to my friends and drink my margarita. This guy (whom I'll call Bobbo for now) starts to talking to me, and right away was asking me "relationship" questions - Are you married? Do you ever want to be? Do you have kids? Do you want kids? What kind of guy are you looking for? Are you a jealous girlfriend? Etc, etc, etc. OMG! First of all, I'm on vacation; I am not looking for "the one" when I am on vacation. Not that I don't think it could happen... I'm just definitely not looking for it. Secondly, why would you just randomly start asking some girl in a bar these sorts of questions less than 5 minutes after you met her? Are you trying to scare her away? Well, I'll let my future suitors in on a little secret... this will definitely turn me off and scare me away. It's just weird. At least let us go on a date before you start asking those kinds of questions. Geez...

Anyway, after I successfully avoided these questions and tried to talk to the rest of the table, the guy grabs me by my waist, and whispers in my ear, "Is she craving?" Um, is who craving what? "You know... (pointing to my lap) her." OMG! Is this dude freaking joking? I laughed and told him to mind his manners, and scooted to the end of the booth. Of course, Bobbo doesn't get the hint and continues with his inappropriate conversation, asking such staples as how long has it been, how many have I had, do I mess with girls, etc, etc, etc. Seriously, I have never been so offended or disgusted with such a pig in my life.

I finally excused myself from the table and Bobbo the pervert, and went to the bar. Fortunately for me, it was soon time for last call. Unfortunately for me, Bobbo felt the need to ask me if he could "go with me to my hotel room so he could help me scratch that itch." Again, ewwww. Who the hell does this bozo think he is? And why does he think it's ok or appropriate to talk to me like that? One of my friends said it was sort of flattering... I couldn't disagree more.

My friend was interested in the other guy, and wanted him to come back to our hotel room to drink and hang out some more. And I'm not trying to block her game, but the thought of having to spend one more minute with Bobbo was making me sick. So I told her that would not be ok with me and I wanted to go to bed. Bobbo, of course, felt the need to come and tell my goodbye personally by hugging me and putting one of his legs up on my hip. I quickly pulled away and left.

I've seriously never been so offended in my life. And I know I'm not the biggest dating expert ever, but this couldn't be what I have to look forward to, is it? Because if it is, I think I'm better off alone. Again, ewww. I don't even know what else to say... but ewww.