"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." - Christopher Reeve
I don't dream anymore. I mean, I have goals and dreams for the future, but that's not what I'm talking about. I mean I don't dream anymore. I don't know when they stopped. I don't know why they won't come back. And I'm suprised to find myself really, really missing them. My dreams are usually extremely vivid, and usually answer questions that I have been pondering. Call it unconscious decision making if you will, but it always ends up working for me for some reason. Some of my dreams scare me, some of my dreams inspire me, and all of my dreams have either the answer to a question or a meaning of some sort.
I think my last dream was just before my trip to California, but I am not 100% sure. If it was, that fact in itself answers a few questions. For one... it proves how much I really do wish I could be there and how much I miss it. I don't know how someone who has never lived there before can miss that place, but I do. It's like a deep down "homesick" feeling, and it really, really sucks. My new short term goal is to get myself relocated to southern California. I don't think it will change my life, but my quality of life will improve even if my cost of living ridiculously increases. I so much "heart" California!Since leaving California, my sleeping patterns have gone to crap. Before my vacation, I would get an average of 5 hours of sleep a night (no, I don't sleep enough and yes, I do suffer from insomnia). Since vacation? I get about 3-4. During my vacation, I was getting a minimum of eight hours a night. Coincidence, hmmm???? I think not.
Maybe I'm just not as happy in Houston as I wish I really was. And I know I wonder if I ever will be. But I will say that my life in Houston has been 100 times better so far this year than it was last year. And who's to say it won't get better from here? Either way, I'll try to stick it out at least a little bit longer. And as for my dreams? Well, I'll just leave those to fate and if they come back, sweet. If not? Well.... I hope I just don't let myself think too much into that. They are just dreams.............right?
I don't dream anymore. I mean, I have goals and dreams for the future, but that's not what I'm talking about. I mean I don't dream anymore. I don't know when they stopped. I don't know why they won't come back. And I'm suprised to find myself really, really missing them. My dreams are usually extremely vivid, and usually answer questions that I have been pondering. Call it unconscious decision making if you will, but it always ends up working for me for some reason. Some of my dreams scare me, some of my dreams inspire me, and all of my dreams have either the answer to a question or a meaning of some sort.
I think my last dream was just before my trip to California, but I am not 100% sure. If it was, that fact in itself answers a few questions. For one... it proves how much I really do wish I could be there and how much I miss it. I don't know how someone who has never lived there before can miss that place, but I do. It's like a deep down "homesick" feeling, and it really, really sucks. My new short term goal is to get myself relocated to southern California. I don't think it will change my life, but my quality of life will improve even if my cost of living ridiculously increases. I so much "heart" California!Since leaving California, my sleeping patterns have gone to crap. Before my vacation, I would get an average of 5 hours of sleep a night (no, I don't sleep enough and yes, I do suffer from insomnia). Since vacation? I get about 3-4. During my vacation, I was getting a minimum of eight hours a night. Coincidence, hmmm???? I think not.
Maybe I'm just not as happy in Houston as I wish I really was. And I know I wonder if I ever will be. But I will say that my life in Houston has been 100 times better so far this year than it was last year. And who's to say it won't get better from here? Either way, I'll try to stick it out at least a little bit longer. And as for my dreams? Well, I'll just leave those to fate and if they come back, sweet. If not? Well.... I hope I just don't let myself think too much into that. They are just dreams.............right?
1 comment:
I think once we "grow-up" and start working "real" jobs we stop having dreams. Or at least that's what I'm going to blame it on.
I'm with you on the missing them though. I don't really dream anymore either which is unfortunate because I would have vivid dreams about the weirdest things, like once I dreamt there was a builing shaped like Eddie Murphy's head and it spun (like the Exorcist) haha! Oh man. The funny part is that it was funny to me at the time, but in retrospect should have been scary. heh heh.
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